Fat Secretary 10001

Me, my life at work, my co-workers in all their neurosis

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Tired of Being Fat

The worst thing about being a fat secretary? Being the fattest person in the office. We have a temp with a double wide ass who may qualify as being fatter than me but still-just a temp. So I ams still the fattest person in the office. Can't seem to lose weight, can't seem to lose my anxiety either. Had a dreadful bout of paranoia at work on Friday.

The Deposed One is still around, must be hard to work in an office where only one person is your friend and your boss sings duets with the fat secretary.

The Despot is on vacation, went away with two large deadlines looming, dumped the work on her calmer and more competent subordinate. Her staff is all happy, she actually gave them a thank you/goodbye breakfast but of course her going away was the only gift we needed.

New character Mr. Passive Aggressive Mr. PA is getting married, so he spends all his time at work on the phone with the future Mrs. PA making plans. I am wishing them well and hope they have many, many passive aggressive children.

Monday, September 18, 2006

The Deposed One is at it again. May or may not have left a “gift” on my desk, but has also enlisted allies (her one friend) to her cause. Allie is trying to sabotage one my projects in the sneakiest way possible. When caught Allie (also know as Major Codependent) was trying to play innocent, but body language gave her away. Will now have to watch my back in the south and the east. It would be easy to feel spiritually superior right now, not allowing myself to sink to her level of interaction. Trying hard to feel compassion not pity for the Deposed One.

Friday, August 18, 2006

What do you get when you treat a Secretary like a servant?

very little

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Screen Peeking

Miss Dethroned has become The Peeker. You know who the peeker is, the person in the office who stands a short distance away and looks at your computer to see what you are doing. She also strategically places items on her desk so that you cannot see what she it typing on her computer. I mostly think she is searching the web for a date-after 15 years of divorce she has announced (via company wide e-mail) her decision to revert to her maiden name. To make sure Miss Dethroned has something to look at when she is busy peeking I have placed a Keith Haring drawing of a waving pig on my screen. She is a happy little pig and while Miss D is not fat she does have a wide flat bottom, most often referred to by other as a “Shovel Ass”.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Cast of Characters

Cast of Characters

Name Motto Motivating Force

The Big Cheese Have Fun but Get the Work Done Just Don’t Screw Up

Miss Dethroned Don’t Talk to Me, Don’t Look at Me,
Don’t Get in My Way Having Others Do Her Work

The Despot Do It My Way Treating All Subordinates
Like Her Slacker Teenagers

Miss Nice Why Me? Being the Nicest Bitch in the

Payroll Queen Don’t Make Me Work For It Paying Off Her Condo

Fat Secretary

First things first, I hope it is OK to use the F word in bloggerland. Last night this great guy named Richard showed me how to set up a blog. I'm ready.